Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
