For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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