Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
