I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
