he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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