Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
