dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize