Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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