so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
