Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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