Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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