i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
