I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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