i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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