I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
