i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Randomize
