the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
