I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
