Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
