Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
