Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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