it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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