Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
