I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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