no. you can't hotbox the world.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
