I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
