god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
