it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
