don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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