new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
