All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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