you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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