The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
