Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
