Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
