She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
