Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
