the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
