she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
