At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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