Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
