I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
