im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
