and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
