I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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