where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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