My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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