like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
How's work?
Spinning.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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