Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
