Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I think i got beer on your cat.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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