I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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