he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
