At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize