I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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