If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
i think my cat just said my name.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
