i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
