is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
