I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize