Already got asked if we're dating
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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