He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
