things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
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