Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

You got in a fight last night?

(818): View more from California

Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.

(323): View more from California

Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?

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(323): You got in a fight last night? (818): Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since. (323): Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you? http://tfl.nu/hf09

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands

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(717): hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands http://tfl.nu/c6ww

Replies (83) Good night (49041) Bad night (2041) Order T-Shirt
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(516): View more from New York

Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.

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(516): Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network. http://tfl.nu/5cas

Replies (35) Good night (3164) Bad night (761) Order T-Shirt
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(425): View more from Washington

So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...

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(425): So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod... http://tfl.nu/hp9q

Replies (65) Good night (7356) Bad night (1208)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.

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(856): So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron. http://tfl.nu/ru5k

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me

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(215): i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me http://tfl.nu/j6i2

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(775): View more from Nevada

I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.

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(775): I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex. http://tfl.nu/bvr1

Replies (20) Good night (5566) Bad night (860) Order T-Shirt
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(804): View more from Virginia

i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive

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(804): i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive http://tfl.nu/za3r

Replies (1) Good night (2764) Bad night (858) Order T-Shirt
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(587): View more from Alberta

She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra

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(587): She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra http://tfl.nu/6lbp

Replies (8) Good night (2905) Bad night (806) Order T-Shirt
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(815): View more from Illinois

at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?

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(815): at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar? http://tfl.nu/ozqc

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(714): View more from California

It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.

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(714): It's a self-perpetuating puke chain. http://tfl.nu/kvdz

Replies (2) Good night (479) Bad night (1292) Order T-Shirt
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(609): View more from New Jersey

why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?

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(609): why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs? http://tfl.nu/z5vs

Replies (19) Good night (491) Bad night (1699) Order T-Shirt
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.

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(202): He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster. http://tfl.nu/s5i4

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.

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(202): I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure. http://tfl.nu/68x5

Replies (3) Good night (1437) Bad night (528)
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(903): View more from Texas

Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.

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(903): Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned. http://tfl.nu/e67l

Replies (9) Good night (1216) Bad night (622) Order T-Shirt

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