I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago