Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
should my penis look like a turkey
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.