Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Randomize
