Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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