Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize