You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
now i know why i became what i already was.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
