I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
My throat feels like a candle.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
She made me pour olive oil on her.