I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah