I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just want nice things and good sex
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
