I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
where am i from again
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
